i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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