we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
