So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
