btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
