I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
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