i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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