Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
