And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm too high and old for this...
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
