is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
