your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
