i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
you win again, gameday.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
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