would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
