your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
