is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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