I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
