just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
