its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
