I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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