the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
