i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Also, beer. Big fan.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
