so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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