Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
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