her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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