i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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