@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
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