He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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