I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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