A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Princesses don't give blow jobs
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
