This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
