can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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