Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
