You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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