I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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