He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
