I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
the liver wants what the liver wants
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Randomize
