so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
