he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
He kissed a someone with a penis
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
