Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
my being single is dangerous.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
