The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Moan for me like Helen Keller
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
