If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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