Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
