We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
