I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
