Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Apparently you make a good broom.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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