Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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