Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize