I didn't shave. On purpose
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
