Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize