I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
