i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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