ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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