Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
