what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Randomize
