is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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