The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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