I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
He passed out mid-signature
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
How drunk are you?
Completed.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
