It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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